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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
whospilledthebongwater
gunpowder-tea:
“ regretityet:
“ pantsthepuppy:
“ sebastianstblog:
“ brokedaswhy:
“ brichibi:
“ noodle-dragon:
“ the-philosophers-bone:
“ acabosetotal:
“ harukami:
“ gothiccharmschool:
“ seananmcguire:
“ kanayahavethisdance:
“ Fuck I’m at a fencing...
kanayahavethisdance

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

seananmcguire

BURN BAGEL BURN

gothiccharmschool

OH WHY NOT?

harukami

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

acabosetotal

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

the-philosophers-bone

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

noodle-dragon

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

brichibi

I believe in the bagel :)

brokedaswhy

Let me get to 40 kg pls bagel pls

sebastianstblog

Please let us get this house …

pantsthepuppy

Shitty day might as well try out the bagel.

regretityet

Bagel, bless my date pls

gunpowder-tea

Bagel give me a job

Source: slavery
honeypeachtoast
dickzoned:
“ aidadoesdoodles:
“ billshitposts:
“ ghara2:
“ lily-d247:
“ afatblackfairy:
“ sniggadoodles:
“ lisa-beignet:
“ theincognegra:
“ This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way
”
“I’m getting back in line.” ”
OKAY but i just...
theincognegra

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

lisa-beignet

“I’m getting back in line.”

sniggadoodles

OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!

image

THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY

afatblackfairy

BLESS ME PATRICK

lily-d247

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

ghara2

@billshitposts

billshitposts

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

aidadoesdoodles

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

dickzoned

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

shibari-bun-deactivated20170406
bemusedlybespectacled

Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.

obstinate-nocturna

Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.

Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.

breelandwalker

Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.

The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.

These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.

Relationship goals. LIFE goals.

avotica

Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them. 

image
drnerdlove

Reblogged for truth.

franklyunfabulous

❤️❤️❤️

endreal

Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.

It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.

Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)

Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.

I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:

“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”

- -Sanjay Kulkarni

Source: betterstayabsurd
stonerjpeg
gaysfinest

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

smurflewis

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

get-your-ass-in-the-impala

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

lotrlocked

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

ive-got-a-dark-side

This is the parent I want to be omg

Source: bullletproof-love